Tuesday, August 15, 2006

questions

I have reached a point in life where I realize how many unanswered questions I have floating around in my head. It's odd how for so many years I just believed and accepted things. Not blindly, perhaps, but I never probed or challenged my views, or those held by others. I believed what sounded right, what made sense, but there was never really any depth involved. And then, less than a year ago, I was having a conversation with a friend as I walked on the beach. The conversation began as many single, 25 year old, female conversations begin: on the topic of guys. We talked about Christian individuals dating non-Christians, something I was (am?) against based largely on the fact that I'd been taught since a young age not to be "unequally yoked". This topic eventually evolved into a discussion of our core beliefs as Christians and why we believed what we did.

Since that day on the beach, I've felt as though a veil has been lifted from my eyes. Or perhaps the reality is that the veil has been added; things that once appeared so clear are foggy and gray. Now my mind is filled with questions, questions, questions. War, love, environment, marriage, family, heaven, hell, sin, death, dating. So many things I do not understand. Although these questions can be frustrating, I find it all rather exciting. I am so thankful to be able to ask questions and seek answers. I am so glad that I didn't go through my whole life believing something just because it's what I always heard. Now I can take ownership for what I think and believe. God created intelligent human beings, so shouldn't we be utilizing those God-given brains? I find myself reading the Bible, and other Christian writings, with interest, digging for truth. I listen intently to sermons at church in order to learn, grow, and challenge. I talk with my friends about what I believe, what I have believed, and what I should believe. I want to always be asking questions. I want to always be learning more about this world I live in, the people I interact with, the God I believe in. So tonight, I am thankful for questions and hopeful (and intentionally searching) for answers.