I am ok

Disappointment stifles all.

I try to push it away,

But all my strength is not enough.

Friends lend a hand,

But it stands firm,

Steadfastly cemented in place,

And the resistance

Seems to make it stronger.

There was so much hope:

Mounds and mounds

Piled high.

I let it cover me

'Til I could see nothing else.

But all has been devoured

By the greedy monster of absence.

How can nothing take so much?

It gets fat off sleep, joy, motivation

And I am left with an emptiness

I want desperately to fill.

Why do I always run with arms

wide open,

When I should tip toe cautiously--

wary of the land mines hidden

below the surface,

Ready to destroy me.

Holiday Gift Guide

A little something I put together for fun. Most are under $30!

The Pencil Factory Newsprint, $10
Promotional newsprint poster zine by the illustrators and designers in The Pencil Factory
http://thepencilfactory.bigcartel.com/product/15-uses-for-newsprint


Bananagrams game, $15.50
Sorta Scrabble crossed with Boggle. Shout out to Jessie Rupert.
http://www.blueribbongeneralstore.net/2008-p-Games.html


Pride and Prejudice with Ruben Toledo, $16
Jane Austen plus couture fashion illustrator equals girly perfection.
http://fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=5268&style=N/A


Foodie Fight game, $19.95
All the fun, none of the mess.
http://fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=3232&style=N/A


Studded Blackhearts Belt, $14
Add a little edge to an outfit.
http://fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=5348&style=MD/LG


Fuji Instax Instant Camera, $130

The Polariod of 2010.
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com:80/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=10&startValue=11&selectedProductColor

=&sortby=&id=17140518&parentid=A_COLL_TOPRATED&sortProperties=

+subCategoryPosition,&navCount=60&navAction=poppushpush&color=&pushId=

A_COLL_TOPRATED&popId=APARTMENT_WHATSNEW&prepushId=


Jamie’s Food Revolution Cookbook, $26.25
I fell in love with this cookbook while in England this summer. Love Jamie for his delicious, simple, straight-forward approach to cooking.
http://www.amazon.com/Jamies-Food-Revolution-Rediscover-Affordable/dp/1401323596/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I21TUHSEU4LTRJ&colid=2AXJR49FOSHS3


The Twilight Saga: New Moon Soundtrack, $9.99
Whether you’re obsessed (Team Edward! Team Jacob!) or just wish it would come to an end already, you will be impressed by this collection of music. Bon Iver, Anya Marina, Death Cab for Cutie. Like a really good mix CD. Every song’s a winner.
http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-New-Moon-Soundtrack/dp/B0029O08WA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1259789406&sr=8-1


Personal Pocket Calendar, $25
Staying organized and beautiful.
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/DynamicAsst/GiftGuide2009/forher/25under/PRDOVR~20918/20918.jsp


Crushed Glitter Magic Wallet, $16.50
Because sometimes you need a little glamour in your pocket.
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/DynamicAsst/GiftGuide2009/forher/25under/PRDOVR~20986/20986.jsp


Sprigs Banjees Wrist Wallet, $14.95-$17.95
Solves my “what to do with my keys during my run” problem. Am also considering wearing it as a cuff next time I go out dancing.
http://www.sprigsville.com/banjees/index.html


Bean’s Moonbeam Clock, $39.50
The sound of a buzzing alarm makes me cringe. Being awoken by a light sounds wonderful. And the cute retro design is fantastic as well.
http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?catalog_id=PN&storeId=1&langId=-1&catalogId=1&categoryId=33149&ddkey=http:LLBSearchDispatch


Mr. Beer Deluxe Edition Home Brew Kit, $29.95
What guy (or girl!) wouldn’t love to a) make his own beer, and b) drink it!
http://www.mrbeer.com/category-exec/category_id/2


Sephora by OPI Nail Colour Gift Set, $18
Tight budget means no extra cash for manicures and pedicures. Not a problem with these three perfect colors in a formula that really stands up.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P249357&categoryId=C19281


Main Street Market Tote Bag in Cream Stripe, $35
Yes, it’s a man-purse, but why should girls have all the fun?! Plus, if he doesn’t like it, you can steal it. It’s a win-win, really.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32886190


Happy shopping!