a couple things i've been thinking about

Number one. Boys. Relationships. Dating. I'm single and 25 years old, so obviously this is something discussed among my friends and I quite often. I just don't understand why it has to be so complicated. Why aren't people just honest with one another. If a guy is in a relationship, shouldn't he share that information? When I tell someone I'm going to call them, I actually call them! What makes a girl marriage material, but not dateable? Why are Christian guys so unable to initiate anything?

Which leads me to number two. I am quite sure that my earlier insecurities about myself are somewhat rooted in the fact that no guys ever asked me out. My confidence level was at about a zero. I think church boys have somehow been programmed to believe that asking a girl you don't know very well out is a bad idea. Dating leads to bad things. Instead the friend to relationship model is always presented. This is dumb. I think that if you like someone, if you are attracted, interested, whatever...ask them out. So I didn't date. So when guys started asking me out, I was shocked. I am still surprised when some attractive guys wants to go out with ME.

Number three. I am trying to figure out how I can make a career out of making mix CDs. If anyone has suggestions or knows of any job openings in this "field," please let me know.

Number four. Bowling, beer, karaoke, friends, dancing, and breaking 100 for the first time add up to a really, really good Friday night.

Everyone should go buy the book Velvet Elvis. It's really good. (Thanks Jo).

I hope this didn't come off as needy. I am really really happy with my life right now. I was driving in my car today, sun out, windows down, music on, and I just had to smile because I was so happy. So please don't post a comment about how someday I'll meet the perfect guy, because I'm really not fishing for that here. Now I sound mean. I can't win...

burn out

So I'm realizing I may be doing too much. I don't really like sitting around all that much, but I think sitting around every once in a while is probably healthy. Healthy is not a word that I could use to describe myself right now. I took Wednesday off from work because I was achy and had a bad cough. I slept and slept and watched DVDs, ate soup, and drank an obscene amount of water. I felt a lot better the next day. Of course, rather than deciding to take it easy for a few days, I went out the very next night with friends. Then, after 4 hours of sleep and a day at work, I had 18 people over for a St. Patrick's Day dinner party. Taking it easy is apparently a foreign concept to me. So today I am trying to rest. I slept as long as I wanted and had breakfast with the girls.

But it's weird. Things that I want to do to be healthy (spin, physical therapy, cooking real food, bible study, church) take time. So many of my afternoons are devoted to this "healthy" lifestyle, that I feel a bit ragged by the end of the week. It's somewhat of a catch-22 really. Where's the balance?

giving up

One of my co-workers gives up soda every year for Lent. For her, this is a difficult task because she drinks multiple sodas each day. This got me thinking about what I would be willing to sacrifice for 40 days. I have participated in Lent in the past. One year I gave up all sweets and another time I gave up speeding (a particularly difficult thing to do while living in L.A.). During this thinking process, I realized something: I have a lot of things that I'm "addicted" to. Here is a current list of things I would have a really difficult time giving up: morning coffee, my cell phone, weekend breakfasts with the girls, good music, oatmeal, Rosebud Salve, and Thursday nights at Bodega.

Now, if I were REALLY spiritual, I would look at that list and choose something to give up for Lent. On Friday, I had decided on chocolate. That lasted about one hour. What can I say? I guess I'm just not a quitter.