ideals

Several months ago, a friend encouraged me to fill out the eharmony profile. I filled it in and submitted it and was presented with a handful of my "ideal" matches. It was sort of fun to see what was out there, but I stopped at that. I never forked over the money and so was left with the knowledge that somewhere out there where some men that would supposedly be good for me. I hadn't logged into my eharmony account for some time now, but it seemed I was still on their mailing list. When I opened up my email today I got an e-newsletter from the dating service. I skimmed it, reading that they now have a compatibility profile availble to users. Apparantly, the profile tells you details about what your ideal partner would be like. Curious, I logged into my account and read the (lengthy) description. I was struck by a couple things. One, it was pretty accurate. Two, I'm pretty sure no one like this probably actually exists. I thought it might be fun over the next couple months to post parts of what my "ideal" looks like. First up: social orientation.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:

Vitality and Security: You have a particular need for a man who is reliable and honest. He is dependable and makes decisions based on his long-term goals. Friends see him as someone who tends to focus on shared goals in a relationship. He has probably chosen a job and lifestyle that lend themselves to longevity and financial stability. Like you, he wants to ensure that his future is safe and secure and he has a good understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work.

Character: Your ideal mate is a man who genuinely tries to care for others. His friends see him as someone who knows he's not perfect, but who makes a sincere effort for the important people in his life. He can show great kindness for others on occasion, but is by no means a saint. He will appreciate your compassionate side, but will also understand and empathize with your feeling that there are times when your personal needs and in life may overshadow concern for other people.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Kindness: Your ideal mate goes out of his way to shower you with attention. He is likely to perform small acts of kindness others would not even consider, like jotting you a note of appreciation or bringing home your favorite take-out meal when you're tired. He won't take you for granted. He wants to be there for you when you have a problem or when you just want to talk. He is motivated by a strong belief in the importance of treating people with kindness and consideration.

Autonomy: You will be best matched with someone who is interested to know all the important things about your past, but is equally if not more interested in experiencing the present and building a future together. You are most compatible with someone who believes that communication is vital in creating a healthy relationship, but you may have problems with someone who feels a burning need to know every last detail about your past or every thought that crosses your mind. When in a relationship: Your ideal partner sees himself as part of a couple, but still maintains his independence and identity.

Communication: You are best suited to someone who can appreciate the difficulty you sometimes experience in opening up and expressing your inner thoughts and feelings. You will do poorly with someone who expects instant intimacy. Your ideal mate won't feel the need to tell you every detail about himself, and he won't expect you to tell him everything about yourself on the first date. He will appreciate that it takes time for you to open up, and will be a supportive and understanding audience when you do.

Conflict Resolution: You'll be happiest in the long run with a man who understands that not all conflicts can be resolved easily, and that sometimes it's important to stand up for what you believe. He's the kind of person who thinks resolving conflict is important, but making peace isn't worth sacrificing his beliefs. If he thinks he's right, he will probably argue his position, even if it means a disagreement is going to get more heated before it gets resolved.